When my son was a preteen, his Sunday school teacher approached me, greatly concerned. From the way her face looked, I wondered if my kiddo had done something unlawful.
It was far more benign than I had imagined. The teacher was deeply concerned my son was having doubts that there was such a thing as God.
I rolled my eyes, “Why would you come tell me about that with so much concern?” I asked her. “Doubt is perfectly natural.”
Then…….. she looked as if she was deeply concerned about me.
Ooops.
You may not agree with me, but in my experience, doubt just happens. It comes to us all eventually. Doubt is a part of the process of grieving. So, if we have ever had a loss, large or small, we have had some sort of an experience of doubt.
I am not particularly interested in hanging out in spiritual circles that paint doubt or questioning in an ugly light.
As luck would have it, many spiritual circles are OK with doubt. That may come as a surprise to you. Belive it or not, doubt is often seen as something that naturally occurs as we spiritually grow and change.
The Buddha is quoted as saying, “Doubt everything. Find your own light.”
There is a teaching in the Zen tradition that states, “Great doubt: great awakening. Little doubt: little awakening. No doubt: no awakening.”
Kilroy Oldster, who wrote the Dead Toad Scrolls stated, “Expressing doubt is how we begin a journey to discover essential truths.”
Hugh Whelchel is Executive Director of the Institute for Faith, Work & Economics. He writes, “Spiritual doubt of various degrees has always been part of the Christian experience; both the fathers of the faith and the disciples struggled with it.”
Perhaps the most famous doubter of all time was the disciple, Thomas.
So, let’s think about his circumstances at the time. He did not doubt as Jesus ministered to people when he was alive, right?
Thomas was in the midst of deep grief over the loss of Jesus when he doubted.
Remember, doubt is a natural part of grief. He had seen the gruesome crucifixion of his beloved friend and spiritual guide. He was probably in fear for his life and running. He may have very well thought his friends, the other disciples, were in some sort of wacky state of denial when they said they had seen the risen Jesus.
I think it is perfectly reasonable that when the other disciples recounted seeing the risen Jesus, Thomas balked: “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe.”
A week later, Jesus again appeared. Thomas saw the mark of the nails in his hand.
Jesus did not say, “Thomas, you are a super bad guy for doubting.” Jesus did not love Thomas less for doubting. Jesus simply invited Thomas to touch the mark of the nails and place his hand in his side.
Let’s consider what happened next. Thomas becomes an outspoken preacher of the early Jesus movement. He traveled extensively, preaching in Babylon, Persia, and India. That is quite the evolution from his state of grief-stricken doubt!
In this process of breaking down that grief provides us, time and time again in life, we can be like Thomas and find new spiritual footing. Perhaps even an expanded understanding of the Divine, or a more authentic spirituality. All this through the process of doubt.
Pretty powerful stuff. Worry not if you, or someone you love, doubts. Just love yourself and/or them through it. You never know. That state of doubt may give way to spiritual greatness.
I thank you for reading, may the God of your understanding bless you today and always.
Yorumlar