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Writer's pictureChaplain Birdie

Vulnerability is a Superpower



Here's this week's video chapel message, with transcript below

for those of you without speakers on your computer.



Opening Prayer:

God of the still, small voice, quiet us within.

Help us to understand your guidance.

Let the words of the scripture inform us:

“Be still and know that I am God.”

In weakness, help us know our strength.

In depression, help us know our joy.

In apathy, help us know our love.

We pray all his with grateful hearts and in your name, Amen.


In high school I knew a girl who had what she thought was a terrible secret. The secret was that her mother was a drinker. It led to all sorts of problems for her. At the tender age of 15 she found herself in a 12 Step program for family members of those with substance abuse problems.


She went to her sponsor in the program because her mother wanted to throw her a sweet 16 party. The girl was trying to get out of the party, because she knew her mother would drink. She was scared to be that vulnerable in front of her friends.


Her sponsor advised her to have the party anyway. Sure enough, her mother drank a lot at the party. Her friends looked at her with pity in their eyes. The girl wanted to just curl up and die.


The next day she dreaded going to school, sure that she would be ridiculed. Instead, all her friends, throughout the day, discreetly pulled her aside, hugged her and offered their support. Several of her friends had told their parents about what happened at the party, and gave her the key to their home. “You can come by any time you like if you need a safe place, or just a place to hang out and study.”


By being vulnerable, the girl suddenly had a strong support system in place that served her well throughout her high school years, and beyond. She grew up and was successful in life and is grateful to this day.


Vulnerability is a superpower.


Just to clarify, I am not promoting the idea of putting yourself in harm’s way in a physical manner. Although …..working in behavioral health I received training that vulnerability is a way of deescalating a tense situation that could get physical.


Some of you may remember in clinical training we are told to keep our hands where the other person can see them, tilt one’s neck a little so one does not appear to be a threat. Having worked in behavioral health as long as I did, I can tell you, these are effective techniques. Coupled with listening to the person as long as it takes? Very much a superpower that can nearly eliminate the need for physical or chemical restraints.


By now most people have heard about the work of Berne Brown, the researcher who came upon this notion that there are those who live in an authentic manner. They generally believe in their worthiness, and while they do not relish vulnerability, they do see it as a necessary part of life. These people face vulnerability with courage, and can even see beauty in it. This leads to meaningful connections with others bringing about a satisfying and full life.


Vulnerability as a superpower, indeed. That is not a brand-new notion, the story I told you occurred when I was a teenager, long before Ms. Brown's work. In 2 Corinthians 12:10 we read, in part, “It's clear that when I'm weak, I'm strong.” In countless faith traditions around the world, the practice of praying for one another is nearly universal. How on earth do we know what to pray about if we are not willing enough to be tell someone about our circumstances?


I hope you know this is a powerful act, to pray about one another, that we engage in regularly in our chapel service. Silent or spoken, I deeply respect and admire each heartfelt request, and consider them, to be an exercise in the practice of vulnerability. Prayer requests are in great part why we feel connected as a community!


What got me to thinking about all this was, of all things, the memes of Bernie Sanders, the senator from Vermont. Pictures of him in his mittens, trying to stay warm at the inauguration have been imposed on family photos and just about every pop culture reference you can think of. Senator Bernie could have taken them personally, could have been ashamed of his humble mittens at such an important event.


I suspect he, after years in politics, knows much about accepting vulnerability in life. It is impossible for a politician to go without some sort of ridicule at some point in their work.


Yet Bernie took the opportunity to promote the good mittens and coats made in Vermont. He laughed with us, knowing this silly meme of him was a unifying force of a sorts, I suspect because he was accepting of being vulnerable and found some beauty in it.


He had the image placed on a sweatshirt and sold them online with the proceeds benefiting Meals on Wheels in Vermont. They are currently sold out. All this proving Berne Brown correct when she said,

“Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity, and change.”

In the time of COVID 19, I suspect many of us are trying to navigate vulnerability. I invite you, my friends, to consider the benefits of vulnerability.


You might discover that it's a superpower.


I thank you for listening and may the God of your understanding bless you this day.


Just because we are not meeting in person does not mean we cannot make prayer requests. You can do so in the chapel on the first floor of the hospital, or by email to jshawker@connallymmc.org Your requests are kept confidential and prayed over for a total of sixty days.


The Prayer for Protection (Rev. James Dillet Freemen)

The light of God surrounds us.

The love of God enfolds us.

The power of God protects us.

The presence of God watches over us.

Wherever we are, God is.

Amen.

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