Kahlil Gibran was a Lebanese American writer, poet, visual artist, and was also considered a philosopher. About silence he wrote, “In much of your talking, thinking is half murdered. For thought is a bird of space, that in a cage of words may indeed unfold its wings but cannot fly.”
Rumi was a 13th-century Persian poet, Islamic scholar, theologian, and Sufi mystic. About silence he said, “The quieter you become the more you are able to hear.”
Silence is powerful. Will Rogers said, “Never miss a good opportunity to shut up.”
But it is hard. In society, for some reason, to maintain or even just accept more than a few moments of silence is akin to pulling teeth. We think we need to fill the empty spaces in conversation, or even when we are alone. In my house growing up, we kept the TV running all the time. Like it was a fireplace. The sound filled all the empty spaces, there was never silence. Why was that? Perhaps Sarah Dessen has the answer when she states,
“Silence is so freaking loud.”
Irish-English poet and philosopher David Whyte might have a more detailed answer: “Silence is frightening, an intimation of the end, the graveyard of fixed identities. Real silence puts any present understanding to shame; orphans us from certainty; leads us beyond the well-known and accepted reality and confronts us with the unknown and previously unacceptable conversation about to break in upon our lives.”
I have known my struggles with silence, not so much structured silence as in times of prayer and meditation, but in conversation. In a teaching class I once took, the participation of students was stressed. We were encouraged to ask questions of the class. If the class was silent, to not answer the question ourselves immediately. To allow for some time of silence. The classroom then fell silent, taking in that concept. Anxiety enveloped me. In my rush to fill the void, I raised my hand and asked, “So, how many seconds to we allow silence to go on?”
In spiritual circles we are encouraged to dive into silence. From Christianity, Psalm 46:10 reads, “Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” When Jesus was asked to prove, "Are you the son of God?" he kept silent. The Dalai Lama, the highest spiritual leader of Tibet and the retired political leader of Tibet says, “Sometimes silence is the best answer.” I might add that sometimes words fall short, and the way we live is the best answer.
Mahatma Gandhi was an Indian lawyer, anti-colonial nationalist, and political ethicist, who employed nonviolent resistance to lead the successful campaign for India's independence from British rule, and in turn inspired movements for civil rights and freedom across the world. He is quoted as saying, “Speak only if it improves upon the silence.”
Modern day blogger, Maria Popova, perhaps describes the benefits of silence best in her blog, Brain Pickings, “Silence is not the absence of sound but the presence of an inward-listening awareness, an attunement of the mind’s ear and an orientation of the spirit toward a certain inner stillness — perhaps the positive counterpoint to loneliness, which so often thrives amid the crowd.”
I know that some of the relationships I have enjoyed the most were with people I was comfortable with even when our conversations lapsed into silence. There was no pressure to bring something up. Being present to each other was more than enough.
So, I encourage us all, myself included, to explore the wonders of silence. Even if it seems awkward. Let us wait until the awkwardness passes and see what is on the other side of it. If prevailing wisdom is correct, many gifts of insight are there.
I thank you for reading, be blessed today.
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