For as long as I can remember, I kind of get this squirmy feeling inside when I receive love, appreciation, and praise.
Some of the internal healing work I have had to do has revolved around accepting praise and appreciation without minimizing myself or my work. It is not really that hard. All one must do is say, “thank you” when being praised.
Figuring out what to say was the easy part.
That squirmy feeling though, did not go away even when I learned what was the appropriate thing to say.
It took some time to discover the squirmy feeling had another name.
Although squirmy is a fun word to say, the more accurate descriptor for what I had going on was struggling with my sense of worthiness.
Another aspect of that was cultivating a sense of worthiness above and beyond praise for my work or my roles in life. Accepting love for just being “me.”
I must say the latter has been more challenging. Sometimes it is not easy for me to receive love well.
I do not think this is an issue that is uniquely mine. I hear providers say over and over when receiving praise for being on the front lines, “I’m just doing my job.”
Humility is an admirable trait, but as providers, as “essential workers,” in a time of COVID 19, I invite us all to consider something.
Consider that especially in a circumstance where we serve in a capacity that puts our lives and the lives of our families at risk that we are truly worthy of such praise.
So, what is the remedy for the squirmy feeling?
There are scriptures from a few faith traditions that can serve to point us in the right direction.
From the Christian scriptures we read in the book of Luke, 12:7 “Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows.”
The Buddha is quoted as saying, “By accepting yourself and fully being what you are, your simple presence can make others happy. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”
In the Islamic tradition from the book, Secrets of Divine Love: A Spiritual Journey into the Heart of Islam by A. Helwa we read, “You are a palace of hidden gems and the greatest treasure you could ever find is already within you.”
Love of the self, even if we are only able to muster up a small amount, seems to be the key to a sense of self-worth.
That self-love is something the Divine would like us all to embrace wholeheartedly. And why not? We desire the same for our own offspring and the people we love, yes?
Lutheran theologian and darned good story teller, Nadia Bolts – Weber pondered recently in her blog, The Corners, if it was hard for Jesus to receive the love that was often poured over him.
Not just the love of his teachings as a Rabbi and his amazing healing acts, but for just being …..him. We really don’t know.
The Bible, as wonderful as it is, seems to have some missing bits, leaving us to ask good questions and explore meanings.
She tells the story of a meal he shared with Mary, Martha, and Lazarus. These were not his disciples, these were his dear friends, people he hung out with, basically.
Bolts -Weber thinks that if they all lived in current times, they might be the kind of friends that kept Jesus’ favorite beverage in the fridge. They loved each other. Jesus had recently raised Lazarus from the dead, weeping when he arrived at the tomb.
After a meal the four friends enjoyed together, Mary anoints Jesus’ feet with nard, an expensive perfume. She then wipes his feet with her hair. Bolts-Weber ponders how Jesus accepted this from his friend.
I, too, wonder – did he get that squirmy feeling?
Did he need to take a deep breath as I sometimes still do and remember to say, “Thank you?”
We can only guess.
But here is what happened a few days after that meal; in the Upper Room, in an act of love and appreciation, Jesus washed the feet of his disciples.
Washing them, even as he faced what he knew was next.
This my friends, to my mind, is an exquisite example of the cycle of love and appreciation. It has no end. It is full of unlimited potential for good.
So, this week (Nurses Week) and next week (Hospital Week), I encourage you all to know your great worth, even beyond your work, just for being the wonderful person you are.
Even as you are rightfully praised for your work.
You never know where that love and appreciation might land next, and what it might start.
Please accept this blessing with my deep and profound gratitude:
“You are worthy, you are more than enough. You are loved, you are appreciated, it is easy to behold the wonderful person you are, just by being you. You are a blessing to the world. Amen.”
I thank you for reading, be blessed this day!
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