Jacob Nordby is a writer, speaker, creativity researcher and guide, the founder at Institute for Creative Living, and a nice guy I used to work with when I was involved with church communications. I love this quote from him from his book, Blessed Are the Weird:
“Blessed are the weird people: poets, misfits, writers, mystics, painters, troubadours for they teach us to see the world through different eyes.”
So, I apologize for this reflection if your family is totally perfectly normal. But really, are they? Every family has its quirks. Or perhaps has an oddball, a weirdo, or two. Or is completely comprised of them.
Belive it or not, our brains can work super hard to block out the “quirks” of our families or how we grew up, if it was out of the ordinary. The brain also does this with traumatic events. It’s out of an instinct to survive. We are wired to live in community, around others. If our brains suspect there is something in our family or our lives that will set us apart as different, and we somehow won’t be accepted, the brain will work hard to set things up so we never come across as such. For real. It can lead to real health problems. If you’d like to read up on that, check out the book entitled, The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk, M.D.
Here's the deal my friends. I’ve talked with a lot of people in my line of work, and I’ve come to one conclusion. When it comes to families, normal is the least helpful word, ever. It’s come to mean nothing but a setting on the washer to me.
What got me to thinking about all of this was the vast amount of family gatherings that were occurring over the weekend, all around the world - and not just because it was Easter for Christians, it was also Passover, and Ramadan – all at the same time. I don’t have the time to go into the specifics of all these different faith traditions, but they all have one thing in common. Family meals!
Passover is typically celebrated with family. The Seder is the traditional Passover meal that includes reading, drinking 4 cups of wine, telling stories, eating special foods, and singing. At sundown during Ramadan families gather to break their day-long fast. They often invite guests, have traditional prayers, and may enjoy music when the family gathers. Easter (or Resurrection Day as it is sometimes known) is typically a day of family gatherings – the kids hunt for eggs that the adults have hidden and often a meal is involved – lunch or dinner.
And of course, part of the Easter story is the Last Supper, where Jesus gathered his “chosen” family of disciples around him for one last meal before he was crucified. And what a weird “chosen” family that was - fishermen, a tax collector, a thief/traitor, fanatical nationalists, men with rough, tough, and even violent natures and pessimists. They were not super knowledgeable or well-polished religious experts. Basically, they were a motley crew! Weird, right? Just like our families often do not fit any particular mold.
At the Last Supper they were bickering about who is the greatest. They were very opinionated. Weird behavior given the circumstances. Things are about to greatly change, and Jesus is trying to prepare the disciples. They aren’t listening and some think still he’s going to be some sort of earthly King. Jesus washing the disciples’ feet was a kind of last dich effort to get his point across. For the most part it doesn’t work. Jesus wants the disciples to lead but in an unconventional way. Like a young adult often does not understand the guidance of older family members, and an argument ensues - the disciples were basically clueless. Like my family who are Italian, they were loud and obnoxious at times. Just like many of us who were eating food we traditionally eat on holidays, they were having local and traditional foods for Passover. I think out of frustration, Jesus took the bread and wine, sharing it with his disciples, and perhaps in more current way of speaking he might have been saying: “Remember me, cause ya’ll don’t get it yet!”
Well, friends, humanity is still trying to "get it" to this day. We obviously don’t get it yet. If we got it, there would be no wars. If we got it, there would be no racism. If we got it, there would be no one going hungry in the world.
So, fear not if your family gathering had some odd elements, was weird, or someone got drunk, or there was bickering. We’re no different than the leaders of the early Jesus movement, who Jesus entrusted so much to. Think about that. That means there is still a lot of hope for us.
Let’s keep remembering until we do get it.
I thank you for reading, friends. Be blessed this day.
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