There was a news story from CNN this week about a family that received quite a Christmas surprise.
Apparently while clearing the dinner table, 10 year old India McBride Newman thought she saw one of the ornaments in their Christmas tree blink and it sacred her. She burst into tears and ran to her mother, saying an owl in the tree scared her.
Her mother, a fan of owls had many owl ornaments, so when she went to check the tree she did so largely to placate the child. It was her expectation that it was one of the owl ornaments that frightened the child.
But as it turned out, their live Christmas tree likely had a guest in it for some time, over a week - a LIVE OWL.
It dawned on me that this story occurred the way it did because nobody expects a live animal in their Christmas tree.
So, the first thing I did when I came into the hospital today was inspect our live potted Christmas tree here in the chapel for animal guests……
The owl story does have a happy ending. The bird was cared for and after a couple of attempts, was released into the wild.
What stood out to me the most about the story was how the bird was not discovered earlier, the tree was already decorated and had been in the home for a week!!!
It struck me how powerful expectations are….no one expects to find a live critter in their Christmas tree so we don’t normally look for one.
But children have younger minds, similar to what is known in Zen Buddhism as a beginner’s mind. A child’s mind is not yet full of things the adult mind accrue over time such as concepts, opinions, and certainties.
A beginner’s mind is open, avoids preconceptions, and approaches any subject as a beginner…..even if studying a topic at an advanced level. It is a state of perennial curiosity that occurs with practice.
Over the holidays, or as American clinical psychologist and meditation teacher Tara Brach but it in a recent podcast, “The Holy Days,” expectations are exceptionally present.
I had certain expectations when decorating my Christmas tree this year. My mother was a lover of Christmas. Almost every Christmas ornament I own was a gift from her.
She passed about 4 years ago. She and I had a complicated relationship, as many mothers and daughters do. I expected to feel a lot of sadness as I put up the tree just like every year since she passed. So much so that I almost did not put it up.
I eventually decided to do so. I tried to have an open mind. I tried to think of our difficulties through the lens of love. Not to diminish the difficult aspects – those were valid experiences. But were the bad times THAT bad? Did I gain something from them? If nothing else, some sort of helpful awareness? And by the same token, were the good times THAT good? Was there a way to balance my perceptions, and gain some inner peace?
Well, I put up the tree, and truth be told, as much as I tried to have an open mind I felt largely sad.
Until I found an ornament that was given to me last year. A really gorgeous ….owl! Given to me by a wonderfully supportive mentor, who I had many fond memories of. As I held the owl in my hand, a flood of wonderful memories came back to me.
Had I not at least tried to release my expectations of what my Christmas tree decorating experience would be, I’d never had the experience of holding that ornament in my hand and feel the warmth of knowing the wonderful person that gifted it to me.
The Christmas, or “Holy Days” experience changes over time, much like a river does, as its water flows, wearing away at the soil, changing the river’s path over time.
Changes in our Holy Days sometimes cause us pain, or sometimes joy. When I think of the river, those changes feel more natural to me, as if I’m participating in the flow of Life itself.
My prayer for all of us in this Holy Day season is freedom from expectations, and preconceived notions.
If we are wise, we do our best to be open to new Holy Days experiences, possessing a beginner’s mind.
I thank you for reading and be blessed this day.
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